Posted by: kcgadiyar | October 14, 2008

The Bell Curve: Odds of getting the girl (c) Karthik & Rahul

Statutory warning: The author and ideators of this piece own up to absolutely NO responsibility if you decide to follow this and sustain bodily injuries or worse

Disclaimer: No person/ faith/ etc.etc is meant to be defamed through this article. This article is completely non serious. Please, take a chill pill.

Take a careful look at the curve above. This curve will guarantee* you pick the right girl for proposing to.

This curve works on a simple principle. The 2 axes are Beauty on the X-Axis and Pursuers on the Y-Axis. For our purposes, take the extreme right of the graph to be Miss Universe

And the extreme left to be whatever this thing is

The middle of the graph is, understandably, populated by normal women.Some more attractive than others, they can all be grouped into various points along the curve. Where there are women, there are suitors

Basically, the people who really try hard to pursue women on the extreme left of the curve are one of the following

  • Blind
  • Really, really, really believe that beauty is not skin deep
  • Are looking for a miracle or a change in fortune
  • Know they can’t do any better
  • are Foolhardy

The worst combination would be all of the above

The people pursuing women on the extreme right of the curve are one of the following

  • Foolhardy (this seems to cut across categories, since love makes fools of us all)
  • Egomaniacs, since they think they can get the girl
  • Musclebound or Rich jocks who can actually get the girl
  • Believe that beauty is only skin deep

For the rest of us, there is the middle.
Now, the rest of us know that we stand no chance with the girls at the extreme right, and that we definitely need nothing to do with the ones on the left side. So, we concentrate all our efforts on the middle alone. That, my friends, is a mistake. Since everyone of us is concentrating on the middle of the curve, this leads the middle to mistakenly believe that they are at the extreme right. This, of course causes even Madeline Albright to act like Angelina Jolie and start acting hard to get

Instead, here is what the Bell curve theory proposes. Concentrate on the extreme right, the portion whose girls you dont have a snowballs chance in hell of getting close to. But seeing you chasing her automatically makes her think that she must have shifted backwards through the curve and is probably in the middle since you fall in none of the categories for pursual mentioned before.
This leads to an inferiority complex in the girl and before you know it, she is reciprocating your advances since she thinks if she does nothing, guys even further behind you on the curve will start approaching her. And then suddenly, she says yes to you.

There you have it, a completely foolproof* method designed in conjunction with Rahul. You can check out his work at http://www.rahulgaitonde.org/

*conditions apply

Until Next Time,
K.C.G

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Responses

  1. […] The bell curve: This was originally posted on my Multiply blog and carried over to here, so it is not a surprise […]


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